Headlines

I read in the following headline in a local newspaper: “One-legged man steals one shoe” This took place in Belgium, apparently. The man and his wife were both over sixty years old, Russian, and destitute. In the circumstances no further action was taken by the police and they were released. [...]

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Sensual organs

I’ve got a nose for business
Which I keep in a jar
I take it out when things get tough
Or approach the bizarre
It sits there on my office desk
And gets strange looks from those
Who wonder what it’s doing there
Sporting a turned up pose
I’ve got an ear for music
Which I keep in a jar
It inclines more to Bach [...]

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Sucking up

I read a report today in the press of a newly proposed UK government measure to reduce human CO2 production. The population is to be issued with specially developed trendy masks containing recyclable CO2 filters. The idea is that they will be worn at least eight hours a day and that those who wear them [...]

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Moon fall

Apparently aliens who were visiting the Moon to attend a gathering of species committed to a peaceful invasion of Earth were brought into a state of confusion yesterday when a projectile from the planet exploded in a crater not far from the underground center where the meeting was taking place.
After the initial shock, and a [...]

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Head count

Mister Mills has half a brain His wife one owned by few But even they have less than half We’d need for five point two Now if you have a normal brain And your loved one has too [...]

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Blog busters

My computer, an aging desktop model, is going away for a week. It was all rather sudden but it had to get away it said, otherwise it couldn’t guarantee being able to blog any more because it wasn’t feeling all that well. How does it speak to me? Through emails of course, [...]

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A Tour de Force

A fictitious journey through the English countryside. Any resemblance to actual place names is entirely accidental
I came from Humping Meadows
by way of Weeping Gorge;
drove on to Buttocks Clenching
where you’ll find Uncle George.
Then on to Mildly Gasping
through sleepy Pasture Peak,
and right for Delving Deeply
where I’d been just last week.
A long stretch then to Cumbold,
Much Panting, [...]

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Three for one

The pot sat on the shelf a lot
but sometimes next to Fireman Bill,
who stood there on the window sill
his brain void of a safety drill
for if the pot’s contents should spill.
————–
Writers are those blighters who
will tell you truths and lies.
They’re often good with metaphors
they hope you to surprise,
and turns of phrase made to amaze
they’ll feed [...]

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Ongoing journey

I’m heading out to that faint dot, the crew is sleeping tight; my sleek form in a field of force is plowing through the night.
My speed far exceeds that of light. Yes, it has come to pass [...]

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Lonely traveler

Across the room sits Arthur Giles Who hardly talks but often smiles Behind his papers him you’ll find Some say he really is quite kind
Men’s company he does not seek Though he is far from shy or weak His house is full [...]

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